I Felt Left Out in the Workplace Because I Didn’t Wear Expensive Clothes, Travel to Europe, or Have a Family Beach House

I’m what you would call a white collar worker. An “office” worker — despite my office now being at home — employed in the marketing department of a tech company. I’ve been a working professional for over a decade, so I’ve learned the lingo, the culture, and how to fit in. But when I first arrived on the scene, my relatively modest upbringing had me in for a rude awakening.

Realizing I didn’t always fit in

While it was certainly no one’s intent to make me feel this way, I can’t count the times I felt out of place. The culprit? The ignorance and innate privilege of those I worked alongside — the majority of whom had roots planted in a different socio economic class.

Some examples that come to mind are:

• Restaurants: It seemed that everyone but me had dined at the most expensive, trendy restaurants that I had never heard of, and chains were looked down upon (which was news to me!).
• Travel: I recall one specific client dinner when everyone was rattling off all of the countries they had visited. It seemed like a competition I was losing, having nothing to contribute and therefore left out of the conversation.
• Expensive tastes: Outside of high-end restaurants and costly travel, I saw dollar signs everywhere I looked. Designer handbags and brand new wardrobes every season to match the latest trends. There were also the junior employees (earning entry level salaries) living in the most expensive neighborhoods and hiring cleaners on a regular basis for their apartments.

Having attended a private college with a hefty price tag on tuition, one might assume I would have already experienced this type of thing by the time I landed in the corporate world. But, I surrounded myself with my cross-country and track & field teammates — most of whom had similar backgrounds and were also on scholarships and financial aid to afford their education.

Be yourself, just remember to check your privilege

If you wear expensive clothes or live in a luxury apartment, that’s totally fine. You do you! No judgment, no shaming. I’m not calling attention to this to guilt any person or group. Rather, it’s a reminder to check your privilege during conversations with others in the workplace (and in general, too). Recognize when someone might feel left out, and when the conversation is heading in a non-inclusive direction. It’s OK if this happens, as long as you make an attempt to recalibrate.

Reflecting on my experience and life trajectory, I realize I’m saying all of this with privilege too, considering I felt included in all other aspects of the workplace (I’m a white, cis female after all). This was the one area I felt excluded — and even still, I wasn’t in a low-income bracket where I was struggling to get by, as many are. I was simply entering the predominantly middle/upper-class corporate world, coming from a less posh, more blue-collar background. I empathize with those who feel excluded for many other reasons.

The importance of having perspective, regardless of where you started or stand today

With my tenure as a working professional, I must admit that I now enjoy many of the luxuries and conveniences I once perceived as frivolous or out of reach. And I have caught myself pretentiously saying things like “I liked Rome better than Paris” (vom!). However, I try my best to know my audience and remind myself of my humble beginnings — back when I was paying off college loans, making a meager income, and keeping a much tighter leash on my spending.

In an age where social media influencers regularly tag themselves at bougie hotels with astronomical nightly rates, wearing head to toe designer ensembles, it can leave us all thinking that this is the norm. But of course, it’s far from it. To put this in perspective, the median household income between 2016–2020 was about $65,000 according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The “loneliness epidemic” is just another reason to promote workplace inclusivity

I’ll reiterate once more that there’s nothing wrong with investing in yourself and the things you like. This is just a friendly PSA to promote self-awareness and inclusivity in workplace conversations. Because there are many folks out there who are a far cry from those influencers.

Maybe they never heard of the restaurants and retailers the ‘in’ crowd frequents or the brands they buy from — because they have less expensive tastes, or were never exposed to them for one reason or another. Or, maybe they’re different from you in another way (their ethnicity, where they’re from, their age, or their physical abilities, for example). And they might just end up becoming your coworker.

So, take this as an opportunity to make them feel included, not isolated. This is especially important today, amid heightened conversations about loneliness in the workplace. Some are even calling it the “loneliness epidemic.” While burnout, fatigue, and remote working certainly contribute to it, we can play our part by embracing inclusivity whenever we have the chance.